It was Jim Rohn who coined the phrase ‘We are the average of the 5 people we spend the most time with?’ and it got me analysing my life over the 2 decades. The first of the last 2 decades included a number of individuals who had a not-so-fulfilling impact on my life; the last decade definitely presented a contrast which has developed me professionally, personally and emotionally.
What I did notice (thankfully), is that those who didn’t influence my life in a good way, I started to recognise them quicker each time and so I became wiser in the choices I made too. I also became more self-aware of my strengths and empowering beliefs resulting in me influencing & changing for the better, the perspectives of some of my connections. At the same time, there were those handful of unique individuals or groups of people who have, do and will always drive me forwards whether it’s coming from a place of advisory or a place of love. Today, I choose not to spend time with certain individuals who focus on tearing others down to make themselves feel great!
Now, I say groups of people – which may go against the above statement made by Jim Rohn – and that’s because I am surrounded by pockets of amazing people and they don’t necessarily fit into the figure 5. All I know, they shape me; drive me; motivate me and my continued success comes from being the average of these wonderful people.
I am the average of the 5 ‘groups’ I spend the most time with
Both immediate and extended, I am blessed with a supportive, fun, strong-willed and persistent family. Whether times are challenging or triumphant, they’re my pillar of strength and drive me to reach my dreams and goals. I am lucky enough to have family members who I can hang around with, play with (my niece & nephews Sia, Alyssa, Ishaan & Kayan), chill with, go on holiday with, have deep conversations with, cook with, work out with, have a drink with, ask advice from, celebrate with, laugh with, cry with or call upon when my technology isn’t doing what it’s supposed to. My family are also born with that entrepreneurial flair so they truly understand the importance and what it means to develop personally and stand by my side at each milestone in my business. A specific mention for my Dad – who overcame adversity in life and taught me never to give up and my Mum who keeps my feet on the ground at all times (and makes amazing food!!!)
These are the ‘family you choose’ and the choices I have made pretty much equates to perfection. My best friend I always describe as my ‘soul mate;’ although she lives in Northampton, for me she is never too far away and will be able to know immediately from the sound of my voice when something needs addressing. She is there to advise, guide and listen and tell me what I need to hear.
In addition to my ‘soulmate’ of a friend, I am surrounded by pockets of friends who have hopped onto my life-train at different times in my life and remain on the track with me. They’re the ones you can call at any time of the night and will make you feel yourself!
My Peer Group – new & old
Now, although I have titled this differently, people within this group also cross over to being amazing friends. This group are those who keep me on track; who are on hand to give me what I need and vice versa, whom I am happy to support and help. Some of these people I have known for years – some less than a year. But I’ve learned to recognise those who enrich my life in a genuine, authentic way and whom I would always make room for in my working day.
It’s with this group that I stay true to my goals and they help me stay there too. They remind me when I’m hard on myself and remind me what I am capable of. (these guys are also a group I laugh/cry/eat icecream/drink coffee/have a glass of wine/eat great food with!!!)
I have 3 amazing mentors in my life and truly believe to be successful in all aspects of life, you need a great mentor. Someone who will drive you, push you and be on your case when you need it. Andy Harrington, Shaa Wasmund MBE and Mike Berry – thank you for the faith you have in me; for seeing the potential in me which I don’t often see and for connecting me with opportunities and people that are now part of my peer group. The great thing about my mentors – I can also sit with them and laugh/cry/eat/drink/put the world to rights with!
This may be a strange one to see for some of you but for me it’s a crucial ingredient that keeps me going. I truly believe you will never be given more than you can handle and that each experience, good or bad, is there for the learning. My life hasn’t always followed the path I thought it would and things haven’t taken place at the time I thought they would. It’s OK as whatever is supposed to happen is happening and the 4 groups of people described above only strengthen the faith I have in the path that is paved out for me.
As entrepreneurs, when we talk about success – we mean it in every aspect of our life and whether you believe it or not, you are the sum of the people you hang around with. What’s this equating to for you? Is 2 + 2 making 3 and you’re not sure why or how to get it to balance? Or are the people you hang around with getting you the answer, the result, reaching the equation you want?
Who are you the sum of? Comment below…